Monday, 14 May 2012

Nothing Short of Perfect

A significant period of time has passed since my last post. (9 months and 6 days to be exact).

A couple of weeks ago, I came to the realisation that I had stopped writing because there were parts of my " road to Camilla" that, (seemingly) had stayed the same and other parts were just in a state of "messy".
The last thing I wanted, was for my writing to reflect just another re-write of an already written cliche', so,  I joined the pause.

This morning at 4am as I lay awake staring into the dark, I decided to put and end to the deliberation, as I realised that my need to produce something "perfect", something original and inspiring",  was actually the thing that had gotten in the way of simply "producing" because I happen to enjoy it.

So while it is tempting to launch straight into the amazing things that have actually transpired during the first part of 2012, I am going to stop here and save it for another day, even if the only purpose is to prove to myself that it' important to just do what you love to do, if for no other reason.

Sometimes messy is perfect


Monday, 8 August 2011

Forgotten Luxuries

Recently we had a little win…nothing resembling the end of the road to Camilla, but one that allowed a small breath to be drawn.
In celebratory style, my fabulous husband replaced some of my favourite everyday things that once, taken for granted, had now become small luxuries to me. After what seemed like a lifetime since using them, I was so excited to have them back as part of my daily routine – my bathroom cupboard once again complete!

Something completely unexpected happened though – I kept forgetting to use them. It had been so long since these products had been a part of my ‘everyday’, that what started out as extremely frustrating, had, over time become the norm. 
I had become comfortable with the uncomfortable and I adjusted my life accordingly.

Now clearly a few cosmetic products are not the essence of life and if I have to live without them, life, surprise surprise, continues – evidently with a few more wrinkles, but nevertheless, continues.  Time stands still for no man and no beauty bar!
This became, as do many small events in my life, what I call a “notice” and the lesson has value far beyond the cosmetic.

Many of us, when we have been through the battlefields, come to start expecting them and within the battle itself we fashion a place of survival; a dependant state of being; a state where expectations are clear with no room for surprise.  A place where there can be no more disappointments because it had already become the ultimate place of disappointment.

Without even realising it, we start to operate from a point of lack; we engage in the limitations that we have placed upon ourselves and while we are saying we want something different, our actions say otherwise because sometimes it’s easier to stay where we are than get up again. 
In life most of us will no doubt experience seasons of abundance  and seasons of lack, and then some that sit somewhere in between.

I have become suddenly aware that I need to be mindful of not becoming too comfortable in those difficult seasons to the point where I become complacent, unknowingly putting aside my goals, dreams, and aspirations into the basket of forgotten hope.
For me, comfortable needs to mean being somewhat uncomfortable so that the norm becomes about being stretched  - stretched to do and be more, stretched to a place that whispers potential, not one that tells me that the Camilla experience should be forgotten because I never had it anyway or that its been too long now to matter…

It’s time to welcome back your dreams. Pull them out of the forgotten places and fill yourself full of aspiration… you deserve to be filled again.  

Monday, 27 June 2011

Extended Pause

It's been way too long since I have written, I guess you could say I have had a serious case of "bloggers block".

In this season of transition, while I am genuinely excited and hold a strong sense of anticipation, there are days where I feel like someone has hit the 'pause' button on life and forgotten to press play again. Days can turn into weeks, weeks into months, and nothing seems to change. And I continue to wait.

What is it that I am waiting for though?

It is true that there are a number of things that I long to look differently to how they presently do, and with projects in the pipeline subject to external timeframes that once comple will create the opportunity for a change in direction, these things in and of themselves do not hold the answer, yet I fear that I have been way to reliant on them.
I have realised that I can either continue to sit and wait or I can be proactive in moving those facets of life that are not subject to anyone else's time line but my own.
I can take my own "pause" and use it to discern what are the unique talents, gifts and creativity that have been bestowed upon me and use them to create the life that has already been placed within me, simply waiting for it's moment of release.

Last weekend I had the fabulous opportunity to wear a beautiful Camilla Kaftan to a wedding we attended, due to a very generous offer to loan.
It was amazing and while it was not my own, the acceptance led to the experience of Camilla, long before I thought I would have it.
Had I declined, the opportunity would have passed, yet it was placed in my hands and as a result of receiving, I gained the experience.

I wonder how many experiences we have unknowingly passed up because in that moment we failed to recognise what we were holding in our hands?

This question has left me wondering what I currently hold in my hands that just might be the key to opening the door to an exciting and fulfilling new road, that I have simply failed to recognise....until now.

Monday, 16 May 2011

Freedom in Truth

There are a few things that I like to do to clear my head  - writing is definitely one of them, whether it be filling the pages of my journal, blogging, or throwing out the occasional "ponder" on twitter and facebook.
The other.. is running.

It's my time - just me, my ipod, the road and my thoughts and lately as I have been running, alot of time has been spent thinking about what is truth for me, particularly as I sense the gentle "nudge" into a new season.
Yesterday, while pounding the pavement, the question that kept racing around my mind was this; "In your absolute quietest moments when its just you, are you satisifed and comfortable with who you are? Is this the life you imagined, do your choices bring you peace? Is your deepest truth reflected in your life?

One of my 'personal truths',  as per my twitter post today, "is that forgiveness and healing go hand in hand". Forgiveness can be very complicated, and what I am learning is that the greater the complication the greater the need for forgiveness.There is a distinct lack of colour in resentment, bitterness and misery and very little liberty and generally these are the shades of unforgiveness.

Today I came face to face with some healing that was found in communicating and releasing some forgivness of my own, and it was completely liberating. I walked away feeling light and breezy, and hopefully with a little more colour back in my cheeks! Winter may be approaching, but a little pop of colour is definitely making a come back for me this season!


Sunday, 8 May 2011

Ode to the Old

Today I had a date with myself at one of my favourite book stores which just happens to have a coffee shop attached - Bliss! My mind started to race as I was inspired by the words and creativity of others and I went to grab my notebook and pen but in the "daily bag swap" realised that I had forgotten to transfer them across.

The notes app in my i-phone just didn't cut it - for me there's just something about writing it down...perhaps it is the romantic in me.....and while I know this sounds a little archaic, isn't it true that so often the old becomes new and the new becomes's a cycle of fashion and of life and for me good old fashioned pen and paper will never tire... maybe it's yet to make its comeback!

Many things are seasonal, but many will also will stand the test of time.
I am sure we have all thrown out something from our wardrobe that years later we wished we had held on to. I only have to listen to my Mum talk about some of the pieces she had invested in during her 20's that she,  now regretably, passed on without thought as they became "so last season".  How I would love to get my hands on some of those 'to die for' treausred bring back to life...breathing new life into the old....

Sometimes it pays to not so quickly disregard the things of the past, but to recognise their value, both in the present and the future...

My hope, is that with increased life experience will also come an innate ability to recognise that which is timeless.        

Saturday, 16 April 2011

Love a new season

Today I caught up with some old friends, one of whom is well into celebrating the end of what has been a tough 3 year season. Knowing how this particular period has impacted the life of her family, and seeing them come through in the manner in which they have, is not only so amazing to see, but wonderfully inspiring.

So as you can imagine, when I arrived home to an email from none other than the "Camilla" team about their 'new season" I definitely had a sense that the universe had winked at me today.... 

Short blogs are not my usual style but in celebration of old seasons ending and new ones beginning, how could I let the new Camilla Autumn/Winter Woodstock collection go by without a mention.....I am seriously loving it, there are no words....except to say....

"Bring on the new season - I am ready to embrace you and I promise I will do it in style!"


Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Release it

This week I have been challenged to release something that is very close to my heart; something that carries great sentimental value and meaning, not just to me but to my family, yet with all the meaning it carries, I fear it is not serving us in a positive way in the present moment and to be honest it may very possibly be holding us back.

I can't even explain to you what the last 3 days have been like...just the thought of "releasing" has been torturous; I even wore head to toe black to work like I was in mourning! A Camilla kaftan would have definitely brightened my mood and I can foresee it fast becoming a necessity should I decide to go through with this!

How do you go about separating yourself emotionally so you can make objective decisions?

In this particular circumstance it has been almost impossible to separate, but even as I write I feel like I am being lead toward letting go which is something I have not previously been willing to do.

I am fully aware that experiencing growth and moving forward does not come without some form of action and maybe, even though I can't see it right now, "release" holds the key to something even more fabulous than the dream that is currently held within the very thing I have been holding on to so tightly.

Maybe, just maybe the release may lead me to my 'Camilla'... not just in the physical form of a gorgeous kaftan, but toward everything else that it represents....

Jen x.